A Language Learning Greeting

 Hi there. Salut. 哈喽. 안녕. Mae govannen.

Welcome, friend.

Languages are hard. Like, really hard. 

The first one comes free of charge, though you don't have any say as to which language first gets downloaded onto your gross little impressionable infant disk storage brain. If you're born a real lucky duck, you get multilingual parents who will provide you with additional language software at no real extra cost to you. How nice! My parents do not happen to speak French, Korean, or Mandarin. The nerve! The audacity! I have to figure those out on my own. Ugh. You multilingual toddlers better be grateful. 

I'm looking at you, 4-year-old who speaks four languages.

Many of us are not quite so fortunate, and have to put in some grueling effort down the road to learn a second (and third, fourth, etc.) language. I'll take the position of saying that most monolingual speakers are perfectly content with their situation of being monolingual, and that's okay for them! Couldn't be me. And I'm assuming - you know what assuming does - that if you're reading this, you're not content with that either. So let's talk about that, shall we?

Everyone has their own personal reasons for wanting to pick up another language or two (or three, or four, etc.). Motivations vary. Through talking to other, uh, tongue enthusiasts (ew.), I've come across quite a lot of these motivations, including, but not limited to:

• cultural interest
• resume building
• finding and seducing a foreign lover
• delaying the onset of Alzheimer's disease
• pretending to be a classically educated 18th century Russian royal
• boredom (relatable!)
• trying to make yourself appear more interesting after realizing over a long time that you don't really have any sort of unique talents that separate you from anyone else (this may have been mine)

Really, there are an endless number of reasons for learning another language. You might have a single reason that prompted your journey, or you might have several! I've always had a strong interest in international relations and historical anthropology, which served as a gateway into my interest in the ways different cultures communicate and express themselves. 

Of these ways, language particularly caught my attention. I came to see language as a means of sneaking into the history of a culture that I wasn't born into. It's a key that lets me have deeper access to the art, music, and literature that constitute the heart and soul of a culture. Without it, I'd only ever have a peripheral understanding of any culture other than my own. Eternally an outsider, forced to consume culture only after its nuance and subtlety has been fundamentally altered or removed through translation into another language. And I hate that. I want the raw and unfiltered original content, babe. 

It also helps me order food.

I think most people who decide to learn a language have a real genuine interest in it, seeing as how it's not exactly an easy hobby to pick up. It takes time. A lot of time. And while it can definitely be fun and can be extremely rewarding, we all have moments of crushing despair throughout the process. 

Whether it's not being able to find study time, struggling to grasp a specific grammar point, forgetting vocabulary you were sure you had nailed down, or being pissed that when two native speakers of a language you are learning hold a conversation with each other you realize that you practically have the competence of a 4-year-old. Maybe not even as good as a 4-year-old, actually. A 3-year-old. Ouchies.
We've all been there. 

Me when I can understand I'm being talked about but I have no damn clue what they're saying.

But it's a process, baby! Anyone who says it's easy is cooking up a crock of high quality shite. It's difficult, difficult, lemon difficult, a la 2009 Armando Iannucci comedy film "In The Loop". I haven't seen the film, but I like that quote, sue me.

Now, that's not to say that there aren't ways to make parts of the process less of a stabbing pain and into more of an uncomfortable yet tolerable throbbing. Like anything else, there's an app for that! There are many apps for that, in fact. But I'll get into those at a later time. 

Point is, language learning is difficult, but not impossible. It is not easy (that's what difficult means, by the way), but it can be made easier. And hopefully I can help you make it easier! 

I've acquired quite a trove of both useful and useless information throughout my personal language crusade, and I would be happy to share my booty (heh) with you if you'd like. I'm going to share it regardless of whether you'd like it or not, in fact. But it is up to your discretion if you want to heed the advice of a wise yet dumb, old yet young, burnt out yet lively, INFP, Enneagram type 9, Slytherin, Pisces, twenty three years old man-child.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS. But I'd love if you stuck around for some more. 

Until next time, scallywags.